Today I'm wrapping up this mini-series (for now at least!) with some thoughts on how we can move through the phases of culture shock we are experiencing to a place of recovery, which I described in yesterday's post.
This process is called acculturation, which is learning the appropriate behavior of a new culture (Grunlan & Mayers, 1988). In this case, the new culture is our social distancing, stay-at-home culture. So we are in a process of learning how to operate effectively within a new set of rules for this season.
Grunlan and Mayers say, "effective acculturation allows us to maintain our principles, and thus our self-respect, and yet cope with all the challenges and opportunities of the new culture" (p. 80). If you remember the diagram from yesterday, our goal is empathy and identification with this "new culture" in which we find ourselves. We don't need to completely turn our backs on the "old culture" but nor do we try to make this new culture exactly like the old. Acculturation includes the expectation that you will return to the old culture at some point, so you essentially develop a dual identity (Grunlan & Mayers). (Hmmm....an idea forming for another blog post on reverse culture shock once we are past this crisis!)
So how do we do this? How do we become adept at operating in this new culture? This will vary widely for each of us. Here's a brief list of steps to do this, based on my own training and experience living overseas:
1. Observe what has changed and learn what you can about it. Try to identify the specific change and also and how to react accordingly. All the restaurants have closed, so I can't go out to eat.
2. Identify what you need or want to accomplish. I want to spend time with my friend.
3. Find new ways to accomplish those needs and wants within the new setting. She and I could eat lunch together on Skype and talk.
4. Evaluate the experience, including feedback from others around you, and adjust your plan for next time. I got salad dressing on my computer and eating was distracting. But our conversation was good, so next time we'll just Skype without food. (Yes, this was a real life example!)
Seems simple enough, right? But right now we are doing this with a large number of scenarios all at the same time, which is what creates the sense of being overwhelmed. My advice is that you can't adjust everything all at the same time, but break it down first with the things you must do and then look at the things you want to do.
Also, keep in mind that some things will just not be possible at the moment. For example, we had to cancel our retreat with other overseas workers this month, which is quite disappointing to me. But the borders are closed, so I will just have to look forward to doing that next year. We will experience deprivation and disappointment during this time, and that's to be expected. Those are also tools that God can use to grow and mature us.
This process of going through culture shock and acculturation shares a lot in common with trauma recovery and the grief process. You can draw on your experiences with walking through those experiences as well to help in this weird situation (I won't get into those strategies - there's many resources on those topics already). But here are a few practical ideas to help you cope emotionally in these days:
- Make realistic goals for each day (these can even be simple...find toilet paper, keep my toddler engaged, learn how to use Zoom, etc.) and relish the sense of accomplishment as you check them off your list.
- Find ways to laugh. There are plenty of funny YouTube videos!
- Learn something new. There are lots of free instructional videos online these days!
- Journal, pray, and listen to uplifting music. Connect with the Lord, but don't be surprised if your mind wanders more than usual - you're likely overloaded with all the changes. Surrender that to Him.
- Talk with friends and engage in community as you are able to virtually.
- Make new enjoyable "traditions." For example, I learned I often have an afternoon "slump" now that I'm home all the time, so I learned how to make chia pudding which tastes like a dessert, but isn't too unhealthy. (hmm...it's about that time now!)
I hope some of this has been helpful! To close, Grunlan and Mayers offer another helpful insight that even as you come out of culture shock, you will likely still experience culture stress which is "...the realization that one will never fully assimilate within the new culture and develop the ability to cope with its various demands....Such tension leaves no emotional disability, but one simply has a sense of incompleteness in the new culture" (p. 81).
These weird days will likely not feel completely normal and we will still experience frustrations. However, as we work our way to the recovery stage of culture shock, we will regain our ability to function effectively within the new set of parameters. Community is meant to be experienced in person, for example. I am the first one to be thankful for the internet, which enables me to stay connected with my family and friends while I'm overseas. It's better than nothing, but it's a poor substitute for time together in person. Going to church online and having small groups online are good options for now, but they are poor substitutes for the real thing. So we will feel that frustration, and may it make us all the more glad to return to our usual gatherings once this season is over!
Grunlan, A.G., & Mayers, K.M. (1988). Cultural Anthropology: A Christian Perspective. Zondervan Publishing House.
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